Dawn of A New Dream

The stairs teach me;

the sun rises there

on their cold stones

and in me –

we are the same.

The train whistle blows me awake.

I walk up the stairs in my slippers,

the stones speaking through my feet.

Something is different.

This is how simple it is –

walking up the stairs

in the sun

in slippers.

I arrive home after a 7-day silent retreat. The TV leans towards me with recordings of my favorite reality shows. The refrigerator yawns with food, the cupboards with snacks. The street, the outdoors, with a walk, and this pen and paper rest so quietly on the table. The call from them so silent that I can actually hear it.

I don’t need to know. “Love well,” the wise man says in closing the retreat. “If I didn’t get to your questions then just remember this: ‘Love well.’”

~~~~

I just saw a little of My Best Friend’s Wedding today, and this is my favorite part:

Michael O’Neill to Jules: (in bright sunlight as boat floats down Lake Michigan)

You and I didn’t … in our relationships with others … we didn’t use the word “love” a lot.

Kimmy says if you love someone you say it, you say it right then, out loud. Otherwise the moment just…

(Boat slides under an overpass, a shadow sweeps over their faces.)

Jules: passes you by…

Michael: passes you by…

~-~-

So say it…say it loud and clear. This is what Life is teaching us. Our beloveds are showing us.

So say it today to your beloved ones: “I love you. I love you with all my heart.”

In the neighborhood,
high white walls
cover the road, erase the sidewalks,
create a soft cocoon.

Yesterday it was warm.

And now, under what seemed so solid, so real,
Appears something else altogether.

The wind blows. The trees shake, the sky is pink.

Between white walls and wind lies the truth:

Nothing changed at all. Love is still — and was always — there.

Sky, a slit of laughing red
going down in the pines.

Moon, a misty blur, rising like a flashlight under a blanket.
Dogs all howling.

It feels like Spring.

I don’t want to be a great master or teacher and have people depend on me or look up to me…but I do want to be fully and completely awakened to Truth in this lifetime. That is my dream, complete and total evolution of this human’s consciousness. To be awake. So what is “holding me back” from realizing that awakeness is already awake in me? One thing is that I am always looking for love outside of myself. I want to be loved by others.

You are the love that you are looking for outside of yourself. You are already home.

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At about 4:30 on Monday, Johnny Angel, our Siamese cat, passed away.

I was at work, Sung was in his office, and had just seen him at 4, and Sung said his breathing was shallow. After 5 weeks of “hospice care” and giving him constant loving comfort and care, he took his last breath when neither one of us was there.

Our brave little boy

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In knowing my self,
I know you.
In knowing you,
I know my Self.
It is all the same.