I don’t want to be a great master or teacher and have people depend on me or look up to me…but I do want to be fully and completely awakened to Truth in this lifetime. That is my dream, complete and total evolution of this human’s consciousness. To be awake. So what is “holding me back” from realizing that awakeness is already awake in me? One thing is that I am always looking for love outside of myself. I want to be loved by others.
You are the love that you are looking for outside of yourself. You are already home.
You ask what to do to create the life you want, to become what you are supposed to be. This is a question from the mind for the mind only…not for you. What you are…you are regardless of what you are doing, what you create in this world, or the role you play. What makes you happy? Watching TV shows all day? Then do that and do it with all of your spirit, with all of your intention to be in pleasure and joy as you are watching. There is nothing in the world wrong with this – just this: notice the effect the information there has on your spirit, in your heart. Look to that. Do you feel happy as you watch? Do you feel calm and at peace as you watch? Does the watching bring you joy? Look deeply into this.
It’s become my pastime; it’s really all that I do, that and the computer.
No problem at all with that, so look at what you believe to be a problem about that. Is there one?
Yes, I’m not being creative; I’m not creating which gives me great pleasure and joy.
Can you find a way to make a space for this creativity? And if so, what would it be?
Painting, drawing, maybe writing.
Can you make a space for it?
I feel I still need the TV on to do it and then it distracts me.
Ahhh, look deeply there. This is it. The TV is the distraction – it gets your attention over your own creativity. Is that correct?
I hate the damn TV. And I love it. I hate the damn distraction and I love it. It is one and the same maybe.
So feel into that place. How does it feel?
It makes me so sad.
That I allow – no that I actually choose for something to distract me from my own creativity, from my own joy, my own life.
Is it your choice then?
Yes. I see that it is.
Can you make another choice?
Yes, I can.